(Sorry, I know this picture is gross, but this picture pretty much encapsulates the story of my life.)
I have a new purse. I just can’t use it.
I bought it several months ago because, for one, I needed it and, for two, the purse I’m currently carrying is contaminated. The later is what inspired the purchase, although the straw bag I was (and still am) using is not exactly seasonal in the middle of December. Still, I could live with the erratic fashion statement, just not the contamination.
So I bought the bag. And it’s beautiful in all its supple, black leather glory. It’s even accented with the hottest trend right now in handbagary: ruffles – waves of black ruffles trimmed in silver. I loved it at first sight and carried it home, skipping up the driveway until it occurred to me I now had another problem.
This was going to be a blog about OCD, but now I think it will be a blog about blogging. Or, rather, my efforts to figure out how to work a blog. I’ll document all my steps and mistakes so that no one will ever have to go through the agony of trying to figure this stuff out again. Plus, unearthing the mysteries of the internet plays right into the hands of OCD. I’m confused and overwhelmed by it. What happens if I do something wrong? What if I hit a button and crash the entire internet? It could happen. In fact, I’m sure it will happen. And then I’ll cower and hide under my bed as angry mobs storm my house because I won’t want to be known as the one woman who single-handedly brought the world to a stand still because I lacked the requisite rudimentary computing knowledge. And everyone will hate me when all I was really trying to do was change my header banner to a cooler picture but instead hit some other button because I didn’t know how to change my header because Web Masta Jenn never told me. And I don’t even know what button it was that I hit or what I did, but suddenly the screen is blank and it’s all my fault.
And even if that doesn’t happen plenty of other horrible things can. What if after pouring out a steady stream of psycho thoughts, nobody reads it? Or worse, they read it and make fun of how psycho I am? And once again, I find myself cowering under my bed, never able to face the world again. And facing the world is hard enough on a regular day when I’m feeling up to it.
Hello, world. Nice to meet you. This is my first personal blog attempt, and I wish Jenn, my freelance Masta Web Designer, told me how it works. Jenn, I just wasted an hour looking at themes when all I really wanted to do was change the header picture. I finally found the different pictures to choose from under “header” and changed it so it looks like I know something instead of looking like a complete loser. Okay, I’m still a loser because I’m using the generic WP pictures, but give me a chance. This is my first try, and I vow to make this the best blog in the world!
But first how do I change my subtitle? And should I change my theme? And what are plugins again, and do I need them? And what’s trackbacks?
Why did you make this sound so easy?
“This house is so confusing.” Name that movie.
(That’s her, Jenn, up there. Now that you’ve been outed make my blog magical!)